


Knot A Problem

by yavannauk



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-18
Updated: 2005-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-25 00:10:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/633028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yavannauk/pseuds/yavannauk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A deserted planet, energy readings, Ancient ruins... of course it's not as simple as it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knot A Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://slodwick.livejournal.com/profile)[**slodwick**](http://slodwick.livejournal.com/)'s Worst-Case Scenario Challenge, my scenario was [How to untangle Christmas tree lights](http://yavanna.slashcity.net/worstcse.jpg). With huge thanks to Barbara for the last minute beta.

The problem with exploring a deserted planet with enticing energy readings and what looked like the ruins of an Ancient outpost was that nothing was ever as simple as it appeared to be at first glance.

Naturally, whatever was giving off the energy readings also created some kind of interference, which meant that their headsets only worked at close range. That might not have mattered, if Teyla and Ronon hadn't been checking out the far side of the abandoned native village when Rodney ventured into a promising looking building, Sheppard following close behind him, and promptly triggered the locals' equivalent of an intruder alarm.

He thought it was some kind of web when his hand first brushed against it, so Rodney simply tried to push it out of his way, suppressing a shudder of distaste. His efforts resulted in an ominous snapping sound and he hesitated for a moment, looking around for the source of the noise.

Abruptly, Sheppard's hand was splayed across the small of his back, shoving him forwards. Rodney stumbled, opening his mouth to voice a complaint, but the words died in his throat as he suddenly found himself entangled in what appeared to be some kind of net. As he lost his balance and fell heavily onto the floor, Rodney managed to twist round far enough to see that Sheppard was similarly caught.

"Crap!" Sheppard hissed as he lost his fight with gravity and landed on his ass next to Rodney. "Ow!"

"Well, isn't this nice," Rodney said caustically, once he'd dragged some air back into his lungs.

"Why the hell did you just stand there?" Sheppard complained as he gingerly pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Rodney glared at him. "I didn't know we'd just stepped into the real life version of one of your bondage fantasies."

Perhaps wisely, Sheppard chose to ignore that comment. Instead, he turned his attention to the mess of ropes he was trapped in. Rodney let it go, opting to begin his own investigation. The net looked fairly primitive. In fact, it seemed more like a loose jumble of intertwined strands than anything as sophisticated as an actual net.

"I'm guessing this wasn't the Ancients' defence system," Rodney said snidely as he carefully levered himself upright.

Sheppard merely snorted and when Rodney glanced across at him he saw that Sheppard had managed to work one of his hands free. With a little more judicious wriggling, Sheppard was able to reach around, also freeing his knife.

"Come on, come on!" Rodney barely restrained his impatience as he watched Sheppard press the blade against the nearest piece of rope. "Hurry up, I think I'm starting to lose all feeling in my arms."

"Shut up, McKay, just wait your turn," Sheppard retorted good-naturedly. But suddenly his expression changed, his mouth turning down in a frown. "What the hell?"

"What? What's the problem?" Rodney asked, leaning forward to try and see what Sheppard was doing.

"My knife doesn't seem to be able to cut though this stuff," Sheppard informed him. " _That's_ the problem."

"That's ridiculous," Rodney insisted. "Are you sure you've kept your knife properly sharpened? These ropes don't look very strong."

"The knife's plenty sharp," Sheppard snapped, patience finally worn thin. "And apparently appearances are deceptive, because they have some kind of core that I can't cut through. Also, if you hadn't noticed, the more you struggle the tighter they get."

Rodney, who had been tugging ineffectually at his own bonds, stopped abruptly when he realised Sheppard was right. The ropes had now pulled appreciably tighter round his body, taking up most of the slack he'd had to start with. "Oh God, it's going to cut off my circulation completely; or else I won't be able to breathe... Wait! Can you get at your P90? Maybe you could shoot this stuff off of us."

Turning his head, Sheppard gave him a disbelieving look. "Rodney, do you really want to lose a few body parts in the attempt? Because I have to say I'm not real keen on the idea."

"What? Oh."

As he considered the situation a little more, Rodney was forced to concede that Sheppard was probably right, given the way that the ropes were tangled around them. Rodney liked all his body parts right where they were, so shooting was out.

He slumped down fatalistically. "You're right. How could I have had such a stupid idea? Oh no, my brain is probably already being deprived of oxygen..."

"Rodney!" Sheppard interrupted him with obvious irritation. "There's nothing wrong with your brain, well, nothing more than usual anyway." He ploughed on, ignoring the indignant look Rodney gave him at that. "So, I need you to stop panicking and just sit still so that these ropes don't get any tighter."

"That's easy for you to say," Rodney muttered. "It's not your brain that's losing IQ points by the second."

Sheppard shot him a quelling stare and Rodney reluctantly subsided.

"That's better," Sheppard said with satisfaction. "Now, I'm just going to try and get my other hand free and then I'll see what I can do about untangling this mess."

"You make it sound so simple," Rodney sniped.

"Sure it is," Sheppard said easily. "It'll be just like sorting out a string of Christmas tree lights. You know how they always seem to get tangled up in the box, no matter how carefully you put them away."

Rodney blinked, nonplussed. "Christmas tree lights? You're comparing a life or death situation to unravelling Christmas tree lights?" His voice began to rise in both pitch and volume. "Okay, maybe it's _your_ brain that's been starved of oxygen. I never heard anything so stupid. God, we really are screwed!"

"Say what you like," Sheppard said. "But there's a technique to it and I'm pretty sure it'll work on these ropes too."

"And you, of course, are well versed in this _technique_ ," Rodney said, managing to make it sound like a dirty word. "I can see how that would be an invaluable skill for an Air Force pilot."

Sheppard's dark brows rose as his gaze calmly encompassed their current predicament.

"Be nice, Rodney," he said with just an edge of sharpness in his voice. "That particular skill is what's going to get us out of here."

"I don't do nice," Rodney informed Sheppard with a disdainful sniff. He tilted his head, setting his chin pugnaciously. "But fine, you play at untangling your Christmas tree lights while I actually try to, you know, think of a way of getting us free."

"You do that," Sheppard agreed placidly as his fingers slowly and carefully began to work at the knots and strands that bound him.

"I will," Rodney snapped back ungraciously. Though he had to admit that he was coming up a little short on ideas.

His eyes slid back to Sheppard's fingers, following their movements as they cautiously pulled at the ropes, loosening and unthreading the tangles bit by bit. It was unexpectedly distracting to watch and oddly soothing.

Rodney sighed, wondering why these things always seemed to happen to him. And why hadn't Teyla and Ronon figured out that they were in trouble yet and come to rescue them? Although, the chances were that they'd just stumble into the same trap that he and Sheppard had. Then they could all indulge their bondage fantasies together, as if being tied up and collared hadn't been enough.

Another sigh and Sheppard glanced across at him. "No grand escape plan yet, Rodney?"

Rodney ground his teeth together at the smug tone of Sheppard's voice. "Just shut up and keep untangling, Colonel, and it'll be a very merry Christmas, I'm sure."

Chuckling softly, Sheppard turned his attention back to the task at hand.

"Though I'd just as soon not be trussed up like the Christmas turkey," Rodney added, under his breath.

Despite Rodney's scepticism, a mere twenty minutes later, Sheppard finally succeeded in getting himself free. What had once appeared to be a net had now been reduced to a heap of individual strands of rope lying around him on the floor.

In the same time, Rodney had failed to make any real progress on escaping from his own bonds, a fact which caused Sheppard to grin smugly as he moved across to help him. Sheppard had barely made a start when his headset began to spit static, which quickly resolved into Teyla's anxious voice. Evidently, Teyla and Ronon were now close enough to their position to overcome the effects of the interference.

Sheppard quickly gave their teammates directions to the building they were located in, together with warnings about the problem they'd encountered. However, it seemed that only one trap had been set, which he and Rodney had already sprung.

Teyla's expression was amused as she took in the sight of Rodney, still tightly wrapped in a cocoon of ropes.

"It would appear, Colonel, that you and Dr. McKay have had a more interesting time than Ronon and I," she said, her lips twitching in an obvious effort not to laugh.

"Yeah, we got a little tied up," Sheppard agreed with a grin.

"Yes, yes, this is all very funny I'm sure and no doubt we'll all have a good laugh about it once we're back in Atlantis, but right now some of us are _still tied up_ ," Rodney snapped in annoyance.

Sheppard turned to look at him, pursing his lips thoughtfully. "You know, Rodney, we have no idea if there are other booby traps just waiting for us to set them off. I think it would be much safer if we headed back to the jumper first and then worked on getting you untied."

Rodney's eyes widened in disbelief. "I hate to point out the flaw in this worthy scheme, Colonel."

"Oh, yeah, but I think we can work around that," Sheppard said easily. "Ronon?"

Ronon glanced from Sheppard to Rodney and back again, then nodded. The same hint of amusement that had coloured Teyla's expression passed across his face. "No problem."

"What? No!" Rodney's voice rose in pitch as Ronon bent down and unceremoniously lifted him, settling him face down over his shoulder.

"Perfect," Sheppard said with a smirk. "Now, let's get out of here."

"Perfect?" Rodney squawked, glaring at Sheppard as best he could from his current vantage point. "This doesn't even come close to perfect!" He struggled, but Ronon just gripped him more firmly. "Put me down, you oaf!"

"That's not very friendly," Sheppard said as he led the way out of the deserted village. "Maybe you should consider being a little nicer."

"Why?" Rodney complained somewhat breathlessly. "I already told you I don't do nice and I can see no reason to start now. I'm upside down and being carried like a sack of potatoes for God's sake!"

"Remember those Christmas tree lights, Rodney," Sheppard said, sounding far too pleased with himself. "I have the technique..."

"Of course you do," Rodney sighed.

"On the other hand," Sheppard continued. "I could always leave you trussed up like that until we get back through the gate. I'm sure Zelenka would figure out how to get you untied... eventually."

Rodney muttered a muffled curse and then fell silent. He knew Sheppard would do it, if provoked, and there was no way Rodney would ever live it down if Zelenka or any of the other scientists saw him like this.

"What was that, Rodney?" Sheppard asked, far too innocently.

"Fine," Rodney said shortly. "I said that's just fine." He twisted, trying to peer round Ronon to see if they were anywhere near the jumper. "Are we there yet?"

Teyla laughed and Sheppard stopped to glare at him in exasperation. "Rodney..."


End file.
